perpetual stress

Since paying off my credit cards last Spring, I swore to myself that things would be different.  I would never rack up debt again, I would begin to save for the future, and live like a responsible 20something year old.  Little did I realize how difficult and stressful that would be.
I set pretty lofty goals for myself regarding saving money, and I feel like shit for not having lived up to these arbitrary objectives.  But it's hard out there for a young, irresponsible male in his mid twenties!  I have to pay for dinners at mid-range restaurants, cover rounds of shots/drinks at various bars, and empty out my wallet on personal upkeep (clothes, haircuts), and it's hard to skimp on these self-professed necessities.  I even promised to pay my girlfriend's cable and utility bills for her apartment. It only makes sense, since I'm practically living there. 
Still, due to all these necessary (fine, not-all-that-necessary) expenditures, I am spending more than I am saving, and in the end, I feel like I'm in the same exact situation  as I was when I was debt-ridden.  I was supposed to be working my way to my goal , like a runner in a marathon pacing his way towards the finish line. Only in my situation, I'm not even in the marathon yet, I'm still running in place. On a treadmill. At the gym. 
I'm hoping that things will turn around, that I'll eventually save more money and do what I want to do in life.  But I'm also my worst critic, and am pretty skeptical of any change.  If my circumstances don't change soon, and if I don't own up to my responsibilities, I'm pretty sure I'll be perpetually stuck in this life-mode for a lot longer.


fingers crossed.

lazy

I haven't updated in a month! It's hard to keep this site up to date when:
1. I hate so much the way this blog looks, and despise Blogger's dashboard/design settings.
2. I have such a hard time collecting my thoughts into cohesive blog entries.
3. I'm super lazy.

I'm going to try to transfer this blog to another server, and get a fresh start.

pee buddies

I have a pee buddy. What's that, you say? Well, every time I use the restroom at work, I see the same guy in there.  Sometime's he'll be in there first, other times I'll be washing my hands when he comes in.  Either way, it's kind of creepy how we share the same pee schedule almost every day.  It's also made me not want to use the restrooms at work anymore.  Awkward public situations like this make me uncomfortable and now I can't help feeling disturbed by my pee buddy.  At least I'm not alone in this odd dilemma:

happy bday

crown of love

Last night, Rosa and I went to MSG to see Arcade Fire in concert.  I've been dying to see them in concert since a friend recommended their music to me five years ago.  Their "Neon Bible" church tour back in 2007 got sold out way too fast, so this time around I was super determined to get tickets.

Our seats weren't amazing, but Arcade Fire surely was. WOW. They played a good mix of songs from all three of their albums, including their latest, The Suburbs.  It took me awhile to fully enjoy their Neon Bible album, but I enjoyed the Suburbs almost instantly.

(photos courtesy of Brooklyn Vegan).

Another cool thing about this concert was that it was streamed live on Vevo, directed by Terry Gilliam.  

I can't wait until they go on tour again.

untitled.

I usually hate driving into the City, especially during peak rush-hour  time (4-7pm), but there's something about driving while the sun goes down that makes it worthwhile. not really, but it helps.

where's the time gone?

How is it August already?  Time flies when you're doing nothing!  I feel like I haven't properly taken advantage of this summer, and it's making me depressed.  I hope I can make the best of the coming month.  I have an Arcade Fire concert this week, followed by Rosa's birthday this weekend in A.C., and a trip to Houston for my college buddy's wedding in mid-August.  I have to squeeze in more stuff somewhere in between these events:
- bikes at Governor's Island
- lobster rolls at Mary's Fish Camp
- running in riverside park
- picnic in Central Park

I'll be happy if I get to do at least one of these things.  Here's to the end of summer!