still lost.

I can't believe I invested six  years watching Lost, and it's over. Last night's series finale left me more puzzled than ever. I couldn't fall asleep because the episode made me uneasy and unsure of what exactly it was that I watched.  The first thing I did this morning at work was to look up various blogs to see what their explanations of the series finale were.  I think I liked Zap2It's theory/explanation the best.  I guess it's going to take some time for me to reconcile everything I feel about this finale and the show in general, so it's best not to make any final determinations and just let things simmer.  Maybe in a few days, weeks, or months, I'll think about the show again and come to a different conclusion.

On a side note, say goodbye to Korean subtitles on American television. And peace out, Kim Yun-jin, my former Kumon lady and reason for watching the pilot. <3

behave.

I have a reputation for being an asshole. I've relished in this notoriety before, but I'm getting kind of sick of the bad rep. My close friends may know that I like to joke around, but I'm pretty sure it's hard to see my good intentions through the verbal acid I spew at everyone.  
Every few months, I get sick of being called a "fucking asshole" by others and vow to change my stripes.  When I try to act nice, I get strange looks.  I last a few short days before I go back to my asshole-ways.


So, what to do? Should I attempt to curb my asshole-tendencies, or should I accept who I am, and let people think whatever they want of me?

happy mother's day

(my mom- center)

I'm a mama's boy. I definitely know I'm not the biggest or worst mama's boy out there, but I know for sure that I am one.  my mama-boy-ness was most prevalent when I was a little kid.  If my dad tried to put my shoes on for me, I would immediately kick them off and wait for my mom to place them back on my feet.  In elementary school, where I learned the idea of divorce, I asked that my parents get one, with my sister living with my dad and me with my mom (although in my defense, I think the main reason I wanted them to get divorced was so that I would have two of everything).  At the dinner table, my sister would sit to the right of my dad, while I sat to the left of my mom.  While my sister and father would laugh hysterically at their extremely corny and unfunny jokes, my mom and I would just roll our eyes in unison.

This is not to say that I hated my dad.  My dad is one of the most affectionate, sacrificing people I know. But for some reason (I guess it's that whole Oedipus Complex), I had a larger affinity to my mom growing up. And this blog entry, for all intents and purposes, is about my mom :).

My mom is by no means perfect. She has a hot temper, and can cause a lot of collateral damage when she's angry. Even to this day, my sister and I are probably more afraid of my mom than my dad.  But she's also oddly funny and engagingly weird at the same time.  Often times you can catch her humming some tune she made up while washing the dishes. She is the most gracious host(ess?) I know, always making my friends food. She's also a lousy drinker and can't even finish a glass of wine or she'll pass out at (like she did at my birthday dinner a few years ago).  She went on and on for years about how much she hated dogs and animals, yet treats our dog Toby like he's my baby sibling (She often calls me Toby by accident).  

Anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this post. I was just thinking about how Mother's Day is looming, and how much I appreciate and love my mom. I guess that's it?

Happy Mother's Day, Umma! I love you!